What is life? Where to go?

I mentioned this in the first post on here. And it is something I think about at some point most days. Was mathematics the right decision? Should I be doing art? What will I do with my life? These thoughts are pretty much stopping me doing much because everything feels so incredibly uncertain. So basically I am just going to write down some of my plans and ideas. Hopefully to help inspire me that doing a mathematics degree, even if it was the wrong decision - which it might not be, doesn't mean my life is over! (Yes! I am over dramatic sometimes... Okay a lot of the time, I just overthink things...)

First! Mathematics!

Whatever happens I intend to finish this degree. I only have one year left so I mean it isn't that much longer of feeling like I am in this hell! And occasionally, I actually get to study stuff that make me want to sit and read mathematics text books into the middle of the night. Granted, this doesn't happen so often! But I am hopeful for my final year. I am under the impression we get to pick some form of area to focus on and write about. And if I manage to select an area of interest it can only do good things for me! I think once I have the chance to find out what I can research I email people to see if I can have perhaps a little bit more freedom. I think relating mathematics to an area, perhaps seemingly, unrelated will refresh me. Last academic year I had to study the most amazing module! It was the mathematics of music. It was such a beautiful module. We learnt random snippets of mathematics in relation to music and how it progressed or why it sounds a certain way. It was so interesting and is the best results I have ever gotten while at university. So clearly the arts are important to me.

This is meant to show the planets and where they fit on the musical scale as they rotate and orbit. [1 - More info]

I am not sure if I would be allowed to study the mathematics of music again, although I would be very interested in studying the mathematics of art, or finding a mathematical way to represent the ideas presented with gender and sexuality. Though that the mathematics behind that might be far too basic! To look into the mathematics of art might be quite interesting. One could look at proportions and focal points, consider geometry and maybe even graph theory, i.e. do the main focus areas of a piece when connected in a logical fashion create Eulerian trails? The more I think about it the more interesting I find it and the more I wish to know the answer!

After my mathematics degree I have a few options in mind of what to do after. One of which is get a PGCE (?) which would allow me to teach mathematics. I have mixed opinions about wanting to do this. Getting a PGCE would give me a clear career path and a nice way of getting money. Mathematics teachers are often always in demand and it would be cool to try and help improve the way mathematics is taught and help kids develop some form of passion for maths. However, as many people have said, and I agree with it! I am not sure if I am the kind of person to fully conform, which might be one reason to why a degree solely focused upon one subject is causing me difficulties. I am someone with piercings, not so many, but I want more. I am someone with dyed, colourful hair. And these two things make me happy. They allow me change and play about with myself in a creative way. And I am not ready to give that up just yet. Maybe I will be in a few years but I don't think I will be. I think this is part of who I am. Not a phase. I imagine if I had lived in a country without uniform I would have many more piercings and have had crazy hair for a long, long time. Thus this makes me doubt if I would be able to fit into a normal school. Friends have suggested trying to work at a.. an.. erm.. I cannot remember the over-riding term. I thought it was 'free' school but apparently that is just a school that is funded by the government. Perhaps independent schools. I.e. steiner schools.

So after some googling, alternative schooling or alternative education. I was taking the term free as I remember reading this:

'A co-educational boarding school in Suffolk, England - The original alternative 'free' school'[2]

This school and the Steiner schools are somewhat similar. They have a significantly more laid back approach to teaching and have a different passion for the way in which they share their information. So far from what I can tell it looks as though it would be something I agree with, and would very much like to go and spend some time at one, actually a few to get a good overview, of these alternative education methods. But the idea that the children can select which areas they wish to learn, or to be taught in blocks where all the subjects try and interlock so you are fully emerged within the time period or area you are studying. But it is definitely something I would like to have the option to consider. My parents have also suggested substitute teaching and teaching adults as options.

Second. Arting! 

So the main reason for this blog is for me to talk about what I am doing artistically. And right now. I am doing a lot. I am trying to develop new skills and keep building on what I know. Last night I was watching a video [3]. It is about some students in Japan studying fashion, and it talks about the different courses they have on offer. Some of the are pretty bizarre; a full course of Visual Kei fashion!

Then I suddenly thought! How amazing would it be to study fashion in Japan?! Unfortunately I do not know Japanese. However, I think there definitely needs to be a fashion course which encourages semesters at the fashion capitals of the world. I mean you need to study in London, New York, Tokyo & Paris when it comes to fashion as they all have something different to offer. (I am not saying these are the only places, of course not, but these are just four that spring to mind).

Currently I am working on my own fashion line. And I felt like I really linked to the structure in Japan. As they seem to visualise more than the clothing. They create characters who would wear their clothing. This is something I am also doing. For the line I am producing right now I have created a whole world, to which I want to create a trailer like video that illustrates a little about what is going on in the world as it shows the clothing. I want the fashion I recreate to run into other elements of the visual arts and media.

Besides doing the fashion line, I am also creating my own home decor business. Which is going to consist of cute little things that you add to your home to make it cute, reflect your own personality and just add something a little bit quirky. I will not post anything about the home decor or the fashion line until I have done a little bit more on both, which will probably be summer when I have everything I need at my disposal.

But I have thought about doing a foundation year at college in art and design. I think it would be extremely good for me to just sit and live and breathe art for a year. It would also force me to really improve so I could get a decent grade. Moreover, it would give me the answer. Was mathematics the right choice?!

I have other arty ideas. But I will save them for another time!

Thrid! What else?!

Map with pins. (Just found of google images, source is unknown).

I would very much like to travel. I have many ideas of how to do this. I would love to just travel continuously for a few months, but I doubt I can afford or have time for it, so I will probably just have to travel in bursts. However, I would love to get a TEFL qualification so I can teach English as a foreign language. This might make travelling a little easier if I can get chunks of work every now and again.

The other things I am thinking about are comedy & maybe burlesque. Both of these require a lot of confidence. Something I am not so familiar with. it might be fun to try comedy, and I have been writing things down, however I have no idea how a crowd would react and the idea of standing in front of lots of people and getting rejected in horrific! (Burlesque would allow me to do something a little different with it, and make it my own. Another thing I have ideas for. Though first I need to get into better shape & see if I am coordinated enough to do the stuff in my head!)


I have been writing this for an age! So I am going to stop now. And hopefully bake some nommy food (assuming the shop is open this Good Friday). So if you read all this, wow, I am sorry it was so long. If you didn't.. well. thanks? Haha.